If you want the rainbow you have to put up with the rain - D. Parton

Listening to: Mary J Blige::Stay Down
Jason Derulo:: Watcha Say



Okaay..I was sitting here reading my fortune cookie after seeing my horoscope on facebook because I cant go back to sleep. You know the whole getting Markus a bottle woke me up. So I'm either up for the night or up for a little more. Either way back to the point. The fortune cookie said " If you want the rainbow, you must put up with the rain - D. Parton". You know that is so right. Right now maybe I am over stressing everything. It is just really hard for me to leave everything to chance. Don't really trust chance. Shoot. Hasn't been the greatest friend to me this year I guess. Anyways, either way I can't expect things to be beautiful now if I complain about going through the "rain" as the quote states. Granted things may not end up perfectly, yet I refuse to just throw it all away complaining. If anything at the end of this I will be able to say that I truly did give my everything. That is even harder for me. As my horoscope said, it's hard for me to hand over the reins and give up control. Like yesterday, you know, I may have acted a little catty and was nagging and all. Just my emotions were like all over the place. That is still not an excuse. At the end of the day I know who I am and shouldn't have let my emotions change that. Sometimes, I do question do I really know who I am and who I want to be. Basically, I am the epitome of one confused woman at the moment. It is so bad it is starting to effect my relationships with other people. Simply because I am so hard headed and refuse to share my emotions anymore if I feel its an issue I already talked about, I am lashing out over unnecessary stuff. Overall, the point is that I am going to try to stop stressing as much as I was before. Just going to try to focus on whats coming up. School. That's something that I wont have a chance to fix later on so I need to just get on that right now.. Senior year here I come right??