Life.

Life.Pain.Hurt.Decisions.Confusion.Trust.Determination.....Faith.

If you want the rainbow you have to put up with the rain - D. Parton

Listening to: Mary J Blige::Stay Down
Jason Derulo:: Watcha Say



Okaay..I was sitting here reading my fortune cookie after seeing my horoscope on facebook because I cant go back to sleep. You know the whole getting Markus a bottle woke me up. So I'm either up for the night or up for a little more. Either way back to the point. The fortune cookie said " If you want the rainbow, you must put up with the rain - D. Parton". You know that is so right. Right now maybe I am over stressing everything. It is just really hard for me to leave everything to chance. Don't really trust chance. Shoot. Hasn't been the greatest friend to me this year I guess. Anyways, either way I can't expect things to be beautiful now if I complain about going through the "rain" as the quote states. Granted things may not end up perfectly, yet I refuse to just throw it all away complaining. If anything at the end of this I will be able to say that I truly did give my everything. That is even harder for me. As my horoscope said, it's hard for me to hand over the reins and give up control. Like yesterday, you know, I may have acted a little catty and was nagging and all. Just my emotions were like all over the place. That is still not an excuse. At the end of the day I know who I am and shouldn't have let my emotions change that. Sometimes, I do question do I really know who I am and who I want to be. Basically, I am the epitome of one confused woman at the moment. It is so bad it is starting to effect my relationships with other people. Simply because I am so hard headed and refuse to share my emotions anymore if I feel its an issue I already talked about, I am lashing out over unnecessary stuff. Overall, the point is that I am going to try to stop stressing as much as I was before. Just going to try to focus on whats coming up. School. That's something that I wont have a chance to fix later on so I need to just get on that right now.. Senior year here I come right??

aim for the stars land on the moon

listening to -->> By the way :: Red Hot Chili Peppers




Yeaa.back again.. see i'm trying. getting better and better at the whole keeping up with a blog thing.. today was very something i guess. First and foremost ya must know im preparing for labor day weekend :) hopefully things come out good. really need to end the summer with a bang. Like i was reflecting on my summer and its funny how much things change. but yet hey? that's life right? the older the you get the less unexpected the unexpected gets. just idk wish things could have been different. though everything happens for a reason and who am i to mess with destiny and fate and all that... like idk just have been thinking about a lot of things these days. then i realized that my priority right now should be school and that everything else falls after. like i should have learned don't hold your breath and put yourself first which i am going to do from now on. like at the end of the day i am going to feel the way i feel but right now i don't need to be distracted on problems thats going to be here after. i am going to try to focus on school. i am supposed to be doing my homework right now and try to get it out the way. lets hope i stick to this right? well i am probably not but it was a nice thought. despite the slim chances of me following that i am still trying to aim for that. like they say aim for the stars and land on the moon.. :) senior year here i come.....